Can you really see pain? Can you really see loss? Can you really see how a person is inside when on the outside he's all civil, and smiling, and tries to refrain from complaining? The inside is the negative image of the outside. A person tries to figure out why he's feeling so bad... it must be physical he says, it must have a medicine, a cure. After all, Its not coherent thoughts that makes him feel so bad, so lost. Its a knot over another knot in his stomach. Its the Tiredness, the fatigue that runs so deep that sometimes he doesnt understand how he manages to keep his head aloft, to drive to work and back every day.. or at least most days. Life seems to pass him by in high speed, but his thoughts slow him down to almost a grind. They're flashing so fast, most times he just cannot discern one from the other. So he tries to fix it. Tries to fix the inside, which seems to be way too slow for any comfort. Tries to fix the outside, the shell. But to fix the outside, you need to figure out exactly what's wrong.. so what is wrong? He takes countless tests. They seem to draw so much blood over time.. but everything is fine. All the tests come back negative. Nothing is wrong with him. Yet he feels bad most of the time.. and sometimes even worse. One of the things that he really wants to avoid is whining and complaining. He knows that it drives people away. Friends, family. So he keeps it all, or most of it at least, inside. To himself. What really drives him? What can really help? He remembers when he was happy.. back when he was travelling. Only now he's not so sure even that would help. He's been accused of running away. But sometimes its all that left to do.. Maybe if he runs away far and fast enough, this hurt wont follow in time. Maybe it'll give him some time to breathe.