Have you ever put on a pair of sound blocking headphones? and when you were astounded by the complete lack of sound, you probably moved them a bit off your ears just to check if you can still hear..

My feeling the last couple of years is like that. I go through a filtered life. Almost everything is muffled. Emotions are muffled, sounds are not as clear as they ought to be, things that used to excite me, or make me laugh, rarely do so anymore. Even my pain threshold and reflexes have been affected.

I once wrote a book about a man who meets god. God, so as not to flood the man with too many surprises all at once, comes to him (at first) in his dreams. What's even more, the first dreams are all muffled. Blurry images, muffled voices, life inside a plastic bag. Man tries to deal with the disturbing dreams with all the tools society offers: medicine, advices, reflection. Nothing seems to help, as the problem does not lie within him, it comes from outside.

I do deal with the problem that comes from outside. It just is such a long process, that sometimes I doubt if it will ever work, if I will ever really gain my senses back. Or maybe I'm destined to live like this?